Spankd were at Chelmsford Crown Court today for the latest hearing for serial fraudster Jon Sheller. However, as the case hasn’t concluded we won’t be reporting on what happened until tomorrow.
Sheller was due to appear in Court 7 at 2 pm today, and unlike the many previous occasions where Sheller didn’t show, he amazed us all including the court staff when he did.
Sheller arrived in the court’s waiting area arm in arm with a little old lady. Im unsure if he was supporting her or if she was supporting him. Either way, upon spotting me Jon came and sat next to me and made the most lame attempt at intimidation that has ever been witnessed.
Jon sat at the side of me and in a soft, camp and slightly lispy voice said “Hello”. I politely replied back with my own hello and enquired why out of all the seats in the waiting room he had chosen to sit next to me. He advised me that he can “sit where he wants”. I expect Jon wanted to portray a Hanibal Lecter level of intimidation and presence, but unfortunately his delivery was more Forest Gump.
I could see his attempt at intimidation was embarrassing for us both so I tried to lighten the mood with a little joke.
Me: Jon, why did the chicken cross the road?
Jon: I don’t know.
Me: To get to the idiot’s house. Knock Knock.
Confused Sheller: Who’s there?
Me: The chicken.
On the delivery of my hilarious punchline Jon stood up, called me a wanker and went to seek the solace of his Grandma Jo.
Check back tomorrow for the even more embarrassing story of what’s been happening in court.
Spankd 
Lovely. When can we do a “Jon Sheller, fallen souljah?” Oh well, his last beans on toast tonight as a free man. Some screws (wardens) are soooo bribable. Sugar and hot water?
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SHELLER: Update – after his last conviction for fraud, he never attended community service … but he has been busy!!
In the last 8 months, it goes something like this … Dating Site – Moved in with new woman in Saffron Walden – Befriended neighbour – £10K Car Con – Victim reports theft of the vehicle to the Police.
SHELLER’s response … Feigned heart condition X3 occasions (SAME MO as before!), wasting NHS time & money – Lied about having ‘Blood Cancer’ to the woman involved.
Police: doing absolutely nothing to recover the car or prosecute SHELLER… New woman kicked him out.
He is now ‘housed’ in Harlow.
SHELLER has been provided free legal advice by Police, having been ‘invited in for interview’. Police have concurrently FAILED to interview a key witness and have given the victim the most inconsistent response imaginable e.g. It’s theft, we’ll recover your car, we know where it is. A week later. We think it’s theft of money, so we’re not sure what to do about your car. Officer in charge goes on ‘Rest days’ for over a week. (Victim points out legal definition of theft).
Police: “we’re treating it as theft of a vehicle and we always were… we’ll talk to SHELLER and get his side of the story”.
Simultaneously, the Fraud Squad have 5 separate reports submitted about SHELLER, according to the New Woman … but the officers in charge, say they are not sure how to proceed.
The moral of the story … if you fancy a free £10,000.00, just dishonestly appropriate a vehicle with no intention of returning it (btw – that’s the legal definition of THEFT) with a confidence trick, (Perhaps lie about being a political party representative to gain your targets confidence), sell the stolen vehicle, keep the cash, and bank on the Police to help you protect yourself when the victim of the crime reports it… simples!
This will leave the victim wondering why on earth we pay taxes to have a Police force, if they can’t do something as simple as arrest a serial fraudster for theft of a vehicle and recover the vehicle (it’s in Leeds BTW – it flagged on ANPR the week it was reported stolen – over a month ago).
How the hell do we get this bloke arrested and get justice for his victims? So he can’t repeat this process again and cheat someone else out of their hard earned property?
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